50 funny math puns and jokes for kids and teachers

Are you a math teacher looking for some math puns to make your lessons more interesting? Maybe you are a college professor who cannot seem to get your students into Calculus or Differential Equations. If this sounds like you, make use of these humorous math puns, jokes, quotes and even pick up lines to capture your students' attention.

Math is challenging to some people while to others, it is a walk in the park. Whichever category you fall in, these amusing math puns and jokes will help you appreciate the humor in this stimulating discipline

Absolutely funny math puns

These puns may be used as perfect math jokes for kids. Each math pun in the following list is carefully worded, only making sense to those who have a knowledge of basic concepts in the discipline.

• Maths puns are a sine of a big problem

• Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper? She’s definitely plotting something.
• Why should you wear glasses during math class? They say it improves division.
• What’s the best way to woo a math teacher? Use acute angle.
• Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5? Because they can’t even.
• Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? Because it’s two gross.
• What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?A tangent.
• Are monsters good at math? No, unless you Count Dracula.
• Why do plants hate maths? Because it gives them square roots.
• Why is 1/5 always stressed? Because he’s two tenths
• How do you get from point A to point B? Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
• Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties? Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
• Q: What do you call a crushed angle? A: A Rectangle (wrecked angle)
• How come old math teachers never die? They tend to just lose some of their functions.

• Why shouldn’t you let advanced mathematics intimidate you? It’s really as easy as pi!
• There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
• Q: Who invented algebra? A: A Clever X-pert.

See, math humor can be quite interesting as well.

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Math jokes

Explore some funny math jokes that are guaranteed to cause laughter when used in a conversation, just a fair warning, some of these might be bad math jokes that many people will find too cheesy.

• How do you stay warm in an empty room? Go stand in the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.
• Q: Why is a math book depressed? A: Because it has so many problems.
• Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please? Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!
• Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: One: she gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that has already been solved.
• My girlfriend is the square root of -100. She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
• Infinitely many mathematicians walk into a bar. The first says, “Give me a beer.”The second says, “I’ll have a half a beer.” The third says, “A quarter of a beer, please.” The bartender pours two beers and says, “Come on, people. Know your limits.”
• Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river? It was 3 feet deep, on average.

• There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight over it, then slow down again once he'd got over it. One day, he took a passenger, who was understandably unnerved by his driving style, and asked him why he went so fast over junctions. The statistics student replied, "Well, statistically speaking, you are far more likely to have an accident at a junction, so I just make sure that I spend less time there."
• A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. Two people go into the house, and then three people come out. The physicist says, "The initial measurement was incorrect." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty."
• The problem with math puns is that calculus jokes are all derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic. But I guess the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
• To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
• Q: Why did the 30-60-90 degree triangle marry the 45-45-90 degree triangle? A: Because they were right for each other.
• If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends.
• An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trashcan from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc., extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, “Ah, a solution exists!” and then goes back to bed.
• Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them

• There are three people applying for the same job at a bank: a mathematician, a statistician, and an accountant. The interviewing committee asks the mathematician one question: What is 500 plus 500? The mathematician answers "1000" without hesitation, and they send him along. Next they call in the statistician and ask the same question. He thinks for a moment and answers "1000... I'm 95% confident." When the accountant comes in, he is asked the same question: "What is 500 + 500?" He bows and replies, "What would you like it to be?" They hire the accountant.
• I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's ready handy this parallelogram season.

Did you enjoy these math funny jokes? Hold on, because there is still so much more to enjoy.

Math quotes

Some of the best math jokes in the world are derived from math quotes by famous personalities. Some of these quotes include:

• A man is like a fraction whose numerator is what he is and whose denominator is what he thinks of himself. The larger the denominator, the smaller the fraction. - Tolstoy
• Mathematics is the door and key to the sciences. - Roger Bacon

• The book of nature is written in the language of Mathematics - Galileo
• A Mathematician who is not also something of a poet will never be a complete mathematician - Karl Weierstrass
• Without mathematics, there's nothing you can do. Everything around you is mathematics. Everything around you is numbers. - Shakuntala Devi
• Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness, where the explorers often get lost. Rigour should be a signal to the historian that the maps have been made, and the real explorers have gone elsewhere. - W. S. A
• In a way, mathematics is the only infinite human activity. It is conceivable that humanity could eventually learn everything in physics or biology. But humanity certainly won't ever be able to find out everything in mathematics, because the subject is infinite. Numbers themselves are infinite. That's why mathematics is really my only interest. - Paul Erdős
• Patience is my virtue, but only in Math, Daddy - Ashley ― Ryanne Salve, She's Older Than Me
• The mathematician does not study pure mathematics because it is useful; he studies it because he delights in it and he delights in it because it is beautiful - Georg Cantor
• Mathematics as an expression of the human mind reflects the active will, the contemplative reason, and the desire for aesthetic perfection. Its basic elements are logic and intuition, analysis and construction, generality and individuality. - Richard Courant
• If your wish is to become really a man of science and not merely a petty experimentalist, I should advise you to apply to every branch of natural philosophy, including mathematics. - Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein
• Mathematics is not a contemplative but a creative subject; no one can draw much consolation from it when he has lost the power or the desire to create; and that is apt to happen to a mathematician rather soon. It is a pity, but in that case he does not matter a great deal anyhow, and it would be silly to bother about him. - G.H. Hardy
• Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity I do not understand it myself any more. - Albert Einstein
• Mathematics are the result of mysterious powers which no one understands, and which the unconscious recognition of beauty must play an important part. Out of an infinity of designs a mathematician chooses one pattern for beauty's sake and pulls it down to earth. - Marston Morse
• Logic issues in tautologies, mathematics in identities, philosophy in definitions; all trivial, but all part of the vital work of clarifying and organising our thought. - Frank Plumpton Ramsey, Foundations of Mathematics and Other Logical Essays
• Mathematics, as much as music or any other art, is one of the means by which we rise to a complete self-consciousness. The significance of mathematics resides precisely in the fact that it is an art; by informing us of the nature of our own minds it informs us of much that depends on our minds. - John William Navin Sullivan
• Mathematics doesn’t care about those beyond the numbers. - Dejan Stojanovic, The Shape
• Mathematics is pure language – the language of science. It is unique among languages in its ability to provide precise expression for every thought or concept that can be formulated in its terms. - A Adler.
• My first feeling was that there was no way to continue. Writing isn't like math;in math, two plus two always equals four no matter what your mood is like. With writing, the way you feel changes everything. - Stephenie Meyer, Midnight Sun
• They shouldn't be allowed to teach math so early in the morning. - Kendare Blake, Anna Dressed in Blood
• Mathematics is the most beautiful and most powerful creation of the human spirit. - Stefan Banach
• One of the most amazing things about mathematics is the people who do math aren't usually interested in application, because mathematics itself is truly a beautiful art form. It's structures and patterns, and that's what we love, and that's what we get off on. - Danica McKellar
• Mathematics is a body of knowledge, but it contains no truths. — Morris Kline
• A term meant to convey a person's inability to make sense of the numbers that run their lives. - Douglas R Hofstadter
• Mathematics effectively began when a few Greek friends got together to talk about numbers and lines and angles. - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
• Mathematics expresses values that reflect the cosmos, including orderliness, balance, harmony, logic, and abstract beauty. - Deepak Chopra
• Mathematics is not a deductive science – that’s a cliché. When you try to prove a theorem, you don’t just list the hypotheses, and then start to reason. What you do is trial and error, experimentation, guesswork. - Paul Halmos
• In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. - Fran Lebowitz

• Who rebels with mathematics? - Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed
• Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty—a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of painting or music, yet sublimely pure, and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show. - Bertrand Russell, A History of Western Philosophy

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Math pick up lines - math jokes for teachers and other adults

Do you have eyes for a mathematician? Get their attention using these cheesy math puns love that they might find impressive:

• My love is defined by exponential curve, it's unbounded.
• By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
• Your body is so curved, I quickly reach Nash equilibrium.
• Baby let me be your integral so I can be the space under your curves
• Being without you is like being a metric space in which exists a cauchy sequence that does not converge.
• You be the numerator and I will be the denominator, so both of us can reduce to the simplest form.

• Does it feel lonely being there? “Excuse me?” Being in the top 1% of the beauty distribution?
• Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
• You have changed my world to polar coordinates. Complex and imaginary things now have a magnitude and direction.
• If I’m the Riemann zeta function, you must be s=1.
• The derivative of my love for you is 0, because my love for you is constant. If I move my lips half the distance to yours... and then half again... and again... etc.... would they ever meet? no? Well in this specific case i am going to disprove your assumption.
• I can figure out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. What? You don’t believe me? Well, then, let’s try it with your phone number.
• Bertrand Russell was a renowned mathematician, philosopher and advocate for sexual liberation. How about we cut math and philosophy class and focus on the rest of Russell's life.
• I wonder what the L' Hospital's rule says of the limit when I is over you.
• How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the 7 digits of your phone number?
• I'm not being obtuse, but you are acute girl.
• Archimedes cried out "eureka" and ran around naked and filled with joy when he discovered that the volume of a solid can be determined by how much it displaces. Spend more time with me and you will do the same.
• Let's find out if we converge by taking each other to the limit.
• Baby, you're like a student and I'm like a math book... you solve all my problems!

Tell us what you think about these math puns. Are they too cheesy? Do you have some that we have not mentioned? Let us know in the comments section below.

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